He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
