This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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