the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
