He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
