I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
