Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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