I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
