You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
