put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
