new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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