I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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