He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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