If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
