I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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