I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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