I need help removing her.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Four minutes until I can fart!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
