We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
