Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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