we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize