your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
