Well apparently he's into motor boating.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
