They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
