Buhtt sex?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
