Pappa wants mamma naked
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize