she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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