I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
her vagine was all disorganized.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
