Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
