Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
