i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize