dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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