umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
