Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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