apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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