i already hear my dad disowning me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
