I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
