ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you inspire me to be a worse person
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
