IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
