It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
