is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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