Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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