You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Michael Bay diarrhea
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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