we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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