Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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