whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
