Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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