we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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