You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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