Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
