By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize