This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
