i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
