highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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