my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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