Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she smelled like a LAN party
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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