Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize