So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize