I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
false alarm. still invincible.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize