I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
