the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
